Hari Kotrotsios | Helping organisations tell their stories
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Topless in Lismore

15/8/2011

12 Comments

 
“Excuse me, this ATM isn’t working.”
“There's another one in the public bar,” said the young bartender, pointing me towards a door.
 “Oh, and I think I should warn you - it’s a topless bar.”
Picture
I scanned the crowded bar in search of the cash dispensing machine, carefully averting my eyes so I didn’t stare at the waitresses clad only in g-strings and stilettos.
It was my first (accidental) visit to a topless bar and didn’t really know the protocol.
I pushed through the throng of predominantly male drinkers after successfully spotting the ATM machine at the far wall.
Damn! This one wasn’t working either. I returned to the bar where a fully clothed bartender directed me to the next available cash outlet.
“Go through that curtained doorway, past the outdoor seating area, across the lane and into the bottle shop.”
 “The pub sent me,” I announced a few minutes later.
 “ATMs on the blink again?”
“Yep.”
I pocketed the cash and headed back to the nearby 20,000 Cows Vegetarian Restaurant, purposely avoiding the public bar area.
“What took you?” asked Supatra when I returned to our table.

Vegan delights
On a business trip to Lismore in northern NSW two years ago, I caught up with Supatra, who highly recommended the tiny vegan/vegetarian restaurant in the town’s northern suburbs.
They had an enticing array of Middle Eastern and Indian delights and while scanning the menu, I noticed it was a “cash only” establishment.
“There’s an ATM at the pub across the road,” said the waitress.
“Thanks, I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Sensible shoes and undies
Australian comedian Judith Lucy once compared wearing a g-string to walking around with a wedgy all day.
Now where’s the comfort in that?
I don’t adhere to any particular political or religious belief systems, but I’m a firm supporter of the Sensible Shoes and Undies School of Thought.

I gave up stilettos and high-heeled shoes years ago, due to:
  1. Constant travelling and preference for trekking boots
  2. Jobs where I was on my feet all day
  3. A wobbly sense of balance
  4. Aversion to heights
  5. Sheer pain and discomfort

Since living near the ocean and having a predominance of warm weather most of the year, my feet have splayed out as a result of:
1.   Wearing thongs (of the foot variety) 
2.   Regular barefoot walks on the beach 

I can no longer force them back into tight-fitting shoes or anything with a heel on them. My feet are happier for it.

Occupational health and safety hazards
Organisations are legally obliged to provide a safe working environment for their staff. Many implement stringent requirements relating to clothing, footwear and working conditions.
Besides the obvious hazards of baring all in front of male drinkers in a local pub, the following risk assessments must also be considered:
  1. Balancing a tray of alcoholic beverages while teetering on highly elevated shoes
  2. Providing warm room temperature to prevent hypothermia
  3. The irreversible effects of extended exposure to the forces of gravity without appropriate support of the chest
  4. Long-term leg and back pained caused by teetering on highly elevated shoes
  5. Low morale from inadequate tipping by customers

Is the pay worth it?

Stilettos change the way a woman walks and carries herself. It's no wonder that they were invented by a man. 

Postscript: If you're ever in Lismore and want a great feed, I highly recommend the 20,000 Cows. Remember to take cash with you.

12 Comments
Robyn
16/8/2011 12:05:45 am

loved it. Totally agree re shoes & underwear!!!

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
16/8/2011 03:15:34 am

Robyn, it's all about comfort and pain minimisation!

Reply
Supatra Raffan
16/8/2011 03:26:01 am

It was a great night and now we have a great story to continue the delights at 20,000 cows and your adventure into the topless pub! I love it.

As for minimisation of pain and beauty, I haven't totally given the high heels up but 98% of the time I wear comfortable shoes, still enjoy my g-strings of sort. :)

Thank you for keeping the story alive Hari ... mwah mwah Supatra xx

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
16/8/2011 05:44:36 am

Supatra, it's the quirky, unexpected events in our adventures that make them memorable - and it was a funny night, indeed. And yummy food.

Reply
Pam
17/8/2011 09:09:52 am

Glad you're looking after your health Hari. Stilettos are good only for use in murder stories.

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
17/8/2011 09:16:10 am

Thanks, Pam - I've been wondering what's the practical use of stilettos! You sound like you're speaking from experience..?

Reply
Rosie Hall
18/8/2011 12:08:11 pm

Holy cow Hari..... The mind boggles, thinking of you & Supatra, sitting in g.strings & stillettos, eating your lentil patties, amongst a very large herd of regurgitating bovines!!!

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
18/8/2011 12:20:30 pm

You do have an udderly wild imagination, Rosie!
Let me just clarify that we were fully clothed, wearing sensible shoes, and there was not a herd of bovines to be seen for miles!

Reply
Sue Kruger
20/8/2011 01:34:25 pm

Will have to look for those "splayed" feet!!!

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
21/8/2011 05:59:25 am

Sue, my feet are happiest when wearing thongs or sheepskin ugg boot slippers!

Reply
Toni
21/10/2011 10:16:04 pm

OMG!Which hotel was that?

Reply
Dearborn Heights webcams link
12/9/2012 05:24:13 pm

Found your site through Weebly and wanted to say hi

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​I acknowledge the traditional Custodians of the land on which I work and live, the Gubbi Gubbi / Kabi Kabi and Joondoburri people, and recognise their continuing connection to land, the waters and sky. I pay my respect to them and their cultures; and to Elders past, present and emerging.
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