Topless in Lismore
“Excuse me, this ATM isn’t working.”
“There's another one in the public bar,” said the young bartender, pointing me towards a door.
“Oh, and I think I should warn you - it’s a topless bar.”
I scanned the crowded bar in search of the cash dispensing machine, carefully averting my eyes so I didn’t stare at the waitresses clad only in g-strings and stilettos.
It was my first (accidental) visit to a topless bar and didn’t really know the protocol.
I pushed through the throng of predominantly male drinkers after successfully spotting the ATM machine at the far wall.
Damn! This one wasn’t working either. I returned to the bar where a fully clothed bartender directed me to the next available cash outlet.
“Go through that curtained doorway, past the outdoor seating area, across the lane and into the bottle shop.”
“The pub sent me,” I announced a few minutes later.
“ATMs on the blink again?”
I pocketed the cash and headed back to the nearby 20,000 Cows Vegetarian Restaurant, purposely avoiding the public bar area.
“What took you?” asked Supatra when I returned to our table.
On a business trip to Lismore in northern NSW two years ago, I caught up with Supatra, who highly recommended the tiny vegan/vegetarian restaurant in the town’s northern suburbs.
They had an enticing array of Middle Eastern and Indian delights and while scanning the menu, I noticed it was a “cash only” establishment.
“There’s an ATM at the pub across the road,” said the waitress.
“Thanks, I’ll be back in a minute.”
Sensible shoes and undies
Australian comedian Judith Lucy once compared wearing a g-string to walking around with a wedgy all day.
Now where’s the comfort in that?
I don’t adhere to any particular political or religious belief systems, but I’m a firm supporter of the Sensible Shoes and Undies School of Thought.
I gave up stilettos and high-heeled shoes years ago, due to:
Since living near the ocean and having a predominance of warm weather most of the year, my feet have splayed out as a result of:
1. Wearing thongs (of the foot variety)
2. Regular barefoot walks on the beach
I can no longer force them back into tight-fitting shoes or anything with a heel on them. My feet are happier for it.
Occupational health and safety hazards
Organisations are legally obliged to provide a safe working environment for their staff. Many implement stringent requirements relating to clothing, footwear and working conditions.
Besides the obvious hazards of baring all in front of male drinkers in a local pub, the following risk assessments must also be considered:
Is the pay worth it?
Stilettos change the way a woman walks and carries herself. It's no wonder that they were invented by a man.
Postscript: If you're ever in Lismore and want a great feed, I highly recommend the 20,000 Cows. Remember to take cash with you.
16/8/2011 12:05:45 am
loved it. Totally agree re shoes & underwear!!!
16/8/2011 03:15:34 am
Robyn, it's all about comfort and pain minimisation!
16/8/2011 03:26:01 am
It was a great night and now we have a great story to continue the delights at 20,000 cows and your adventure into the topless pub! I love it.
16/8/2011 05:44:36 am
Supatra, it's the quirky, unexpected events in our adventures that make them memorable - and it was a funny night, indeed. And yummy food.
17/8/2011 09:09:52 am
Glad you're looking after your health Hari. Stilettos are good only for use in murder stories.
17/8/2011 09:16:10 am
Thanks, Pam - I've been wondering what's the practical use of stilettos! You sound like you're speaking from experience..?
18/8/2011 12:08:11 pm
Holy cow Hari..... The mind boggles, thinking of you & Supatra, sitting in g.strings & stillettos, eating your lentil patties, amongst a very large herd of regurgitating bovines!!!
18/8/2011 12:20:30 pm
You do have an udderly wild imagination, Rosie!
20/8/2011 01:34:25 pm
Will have to look for those "splayed" feet!!!
21/8/2011 05:59:25 am
Sue, my feet are happiest when wearing thongs or sheepskin ugg boot slippers!
21/10/2011 10:16:04 pm
OMG!Which hotel was that?
12/9/2012 05:24:13 pm
Found your site through Weebly and wanted to say hi
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I acknowledge the traditional Custodians of the land on which I work and live, the Gubbi Gubbi / Kabi Kabi and Joondoburri people, and recognise their continuing connection to land, the waters and sky. I pay my respect to them and their cultures; and to Elders past, present and emerging.