“You got gaffa tape?”
“Go get some. You can then make a stick by rolling the newspaper and….”
Why? Can’t I just borrow a riding crop?
For someone who doesn’t have a dress-up box, I resort to borrowing props when the need occasionally arises – such as a jockey outfit for a Melbourne Cup MC gig, or an elf costume for a Christmas event.
It’s not the kind of apparel you’ll find hanging in my wardrobe; hence the absence of suitable props. And I’m certainly not the type to make my own.
That’s why I admire people who can paint masterpieces, sew their own clothes, create ornate jewellery or design furniture pieces. I just don’t have those crafty genes in me.
I’m the type of person who draws outside the lines, cuts shapes unevenly and haphazardly wraps birthday presents – so you won’t find any fancy ribbon-work on my gifts. I’m just not a stickler for that kind of perfection … unless it involves spelling or grammar. I draw the line there!
I’m a techy type instead
Give me a computer, on the other hand, and I can figure out how to transfer files wirelessly from my desktop to the laptop, teach myself how to set up e-newsletter campaigns and chat via Facebook.
I’ve even provided remote help desk support to staff while sitting in a cafe in Byron Bay without access to my laptop or work files. I knew the system so well I could see it in my mind’s eye – okay, it helped that I wrote the user manuals from scratch.
I guess that makes me a closet geek: anything technical appeals to my logical, orderly, systematic brain. If I can do this, then I should be able to do that…
“Wait,” I’d say to our IT guys at work, “Show me how you fixed that!” I do enjoy the challenge of solving my own computer problems.
I also like to pull things apart and put them back together again. As a teenager, I built my own crystal radio and regularly reconstructed my bicycle. It counter-balanced my extreme lack of interest in anything crafty or homely, such as cooking or mending.
I’m therefore not ashamed to admit the following:
10 crafty things I can’t do
1. Embroidery – needles and threads are just not my thing.
2. Crochet – way too fiddly for my liking.
3. Quilting – isn't it cheaper to just buy one?
4. Knit – more loops, stitches and needles. See #1.
5. Beading – that’s what markets are for!
6. Scrapbooking – I keep my photos on my computer these days. And Facebook.
7. Basket weaving – it’s just not me.
8. Calligraphy – isn’t this font available on my computer?
9. Jewellery making – again, that’s what markets are for.
10. Tatting – I had to Google this to find out what it is!
I'm proud, however, to boast about the following:
Fling pretty things for zooshy dress-up by Ilyhana Kennedy.
10 creative things I can do
1. Assemble furniture flat packs
2. Create statistical tables and graphs
3. Mend holes in my socks
4. Create DIY websites
5. Make sweet and sour chilli sauce
6. Design newsletters
8. Solve general computer issues
9. Maintain pot plants
10. Install files and programs onto a new computer
And just to prove I’m not completely anti-crafty:
5 creative hobbies I’ve dabbled in
1. Ikebana – Japanese flower arrangement
2. Picture framing
5. Drum making
What's your craft of choice? Or are you a closet techy like me?
New Zealand 2008
New Zealand 2006
United Kingdom 2004
Athens Olympics 2004
Beijing to Athens 1994
I acknowledge the traditional Custodians of the land on which I work and live, the Gubbi Gubbi / Kabi Kabi and Joondoburri people, and recognise their continuing connection to land, the waters and sky. I pay my respect to them and their cultures; and to Elders past, present and emerging.
© 2023 HARI KOTROTSIOS