Hari Kotrotsios | Helping organisations tell their stories
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I don't know what I am any more

25/4/2012

12 Comments

 
“Find out one thing about your partner that no one else knows and share it with the group.”
There were lots of ooh-aahs as people shed light on their little-known achievements and talents at our recent choir retreat, even though some of us have been singing together for three or more years.
“I didn’t know that about you!”
If we asked that question more often, we’d learn so much more about each other beyond just our jobs or interest groups.
“So what do you do?”
Notice how we always ask this question first when meeting new people?
“Oh, I’m just a ... (fill in the blank),” we respond, by way of apology.
So we start to label each other according to our predefined concepts: accountants in this little box; New Age weirdo over in that box. 
“Oh, you’re a bank manager?” 
Okay, ‘fess up: what’s the first impression that came to mind when you read that last sentence?
Oh, a writer, eh? Copy writer? This way, please. Technical writer? Over in that box, thanks. Author? Published or not published?
And so on, adding further labels according to cultural, gender and religious beliefs.
I’m not one for labels and hate being boxed in by other people’s definitions of what I am, what I do or don’t do. This attitude has always frustrated my parents, because I’ve never fit into their predetermined labels of me. I’m sure some of my past friends also felt the same way.

I’m more than just a writer
“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” – Aristotle.

I’m reluctant to define myself by my occupation these days. One word doesn’t adequately describe what - or who - I am.
I’ve noticed, though, that people get bamboozled when I respond with: “Well, I’m a jack of all trades, really: journalist, writer, blogger, Toastmaster, choir member, although I’ve also been a tour guide, English language teacher, babysitter, traveler, customer service team leader, training consultant…”  
Yawn. It kind of kills the conversation. And besides, people might think I’ve got multiple personalities, each one clamoring for attention.
“Really, people think that?”
“No way, just ignore them.”
“Shhh, they might hear us.”
“Who cares what other people think?”
Err, sorry about that. Those multiple personalities are rather opinionated and outspoken. 
However, all these different jobs, skills and personalities contribute to the whole picture; each one is like a piece of the Hari jigsaw puzzle, so I’m more than just a writer or Toastmaster or babysitter. I’m all of these things. 
Heck, I wear so many hats at times, even I get confused. Hence the identity crisis – I just don’t know what I am any more. 
Picture
Picture
Past (1998 Nagano Winter Olympic Games) and present (Cool Harmonies choir member). 

Who are you really?
I now know many Toastmasters across Queensland and northern NSW. I can tell you their educational rank and achievements, but unfortunately know little about their lives outside of Toastmasters. 
We always talk shop at club meetings and area conferences.
Unless someone presents a prepared speech about their hobbies or life achievements, we don’t seem to ask each other these probing questions: 
  • What have you learnt in life? 
  • What inspires you? 
  • What’s made you the person you are today?
Just like my Toastmasters and choir buddies, people are still reluctant to blow their own trumpet. They play down their achievements, don’t want to bore others, don’t think their life is particularly special. 
“Oh, that? It’s no big deal.”

So who are you, beyond what you do? Go on; tell me something new about yourself that I don’t already know.

12 Comments
Madonna Robinson link
25/4/2012 03:44:52 pm

Hi Hari,

Here' a few things you would not know about me. I've sold paintings door to door, been a barmaid in a public bar in Toowoomba, lived for 5 years with a boyfriend who was a heroin addict who is now dead, talked my way into University after I wasn't accepted and have a bad fear of flying even though I am travel nut.

It's true what you say. Most of us don't know much about each other really. Now you know more about me than most of my current friends.

Madonna

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
25/4/2012 03:49:56 pm

Wow! I would never have known that, unless I'd asked you, Madonna. Thanks for sharing. Now I'm intrigued to find out more about each of those experiences.

Reply
Penne link
25/4/2012 04:13:13 pm

Hey Hari

You have made me think!
Not many people know I have started a new business. It has challenged me beyond my wildest imagination. I am building a website to promote myself. Something I had never even thought I could do. I have challenged myself again and again, over and over. The research and development side is in itself, daunting. I did it., whilst at the same time, holding down a fulltime job and Toastmasters. I am proud. I am woman.

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
26/4/2012 08:06:46 am

You go, girl! It's amazing the things you can accomplish when you're challenged by new ventures. And it's certainly time to promote yourself to the world, Penne. I'll be keeping a keen eye on your progress.

Reply
Robyn N
25/4/2012 05:14:25 pm

One can just be! That's me.

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
26/4/2012 08:07:55 am

Indeed, Robyn. So simple, yet so true!

Reply
Jenny Duckworth
26/4/2012 12:31:19 am

My first job when I left school was in the toy department in a big store in Sydney, and later my first husband and I had a shop which sold schoolware and toys.
Was a cub and venturer leader when the boys were younger - did my first absiel over a cliff one Mothers Day!
I now paddle with Dragons Abreast - a wonderful group of ladies who have all survived breast cancer, and who really know how to have fun and get the most out of life.

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
26/4/2012 08:10:03 am

Thanks for sharing, Jenny. I've learnt some new things about you, even though we see each other regularly through Toastmasters! Have you done a speech about that first abseil - we might have to schedule you in at an upcoming meeting?

Reply
Therese
29/4/2012 12:32:55 pm

I too have abseiled Hari, probably one of my biggest challenges. Learned heaps about life in the role of a volunteer Lifeline phone counsellor.

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
30/4/2012 03:01:22 am

Good to hear from you Theresa. There's always much to learn about ourselves and others when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone - it helps being tied to a piece of rope for safety, though!

Reply
Coral McVean
13/6/2012 11:01:57 am

I started a Children's Clothing Shop many years ago when Rob was little .

Reply
Hari Kotrotsios
13/6/2012 11:08:54 am

Coral, I look forward to hearing more about this early venture of yours.

Reply

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